Straight from the Doctor's Digestive Health Journal

Is it a federal offense to read someone else's mail when it's a publication (easily openable without evidence except fingerprints) that reads "Which FAMOUS MOVIE STAR had a HORRIBLE Bowel Problem?" (Emphasis not mine)

First these awesome facts from this publication:

- Even with one bowel movement a day, there are still EIGHT MEALS sitting in your digestive system! (following that is an illustrated diagram with such labels as "Your Stomach", "Your Colon", "Thursday 3 Meals", and "Your Anus")
- "I Can Now Eat Pizza With Extra Cheese!" thanks to this drug this publication is selling
- It also claims to help you fight the #1 fake disease in the nation: Bird Flu!

And now, our trivia answer: USA Today says Actor JOHN WAYNE had 40 POUNDS of Encrusted Fecal Matter!

My Grandma would have been so bummed.

On another note: Ted Haggard is a self-proclaimed "Deceiver and Liar", but unfortunately not for the reasons he should be. If you click on this link, there is this awesome picture of Ted doing some workout something-or-other in his gay little speedos... now, is this necessary? Here's my real problem with this whole "scandal": the media, HuffPo included (shame on them), is totally feeding into his shame of having sexual whatevers with a man. Now, whether this makes him a homosexual, in my eyes, is yet to be determined, though the odds way heavily "against" him. I put quotes around "against" (I did it again!) because the problem with this whole thing is that here is something about our dear Ted that is intrinsic to his makeup as a person - because homosexuality is a biological "deviation" from the "norm," not a choice - that he is fighting so hard and so much self-hatred has welled up inside him, that he must prove it's not happening to him by yelling the Lord's name even louder and putting his nose into the Bible even further, which, as the laws of physics will dictate, for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction, causes him to have a dick put further in his ass. And there is nothing wrong with that. But once we start agreeing with Ted that, yes, your homosexual tendencies are a problem... that's where we're feeding the beast. What's wrong is that he's been living a lie for so long that he's leaving his wife, his children, and his congregation in the wake of his battleship of a lie to himself. I feel sorry for the man, I really do. I wish him the best in his battle for his identity and hope he winds up coming out the other end of this with a more positive self-image and forgiveness and knowing that God loves all his children... even the gay ones.