The Poop Post

Oh, that's no euphamism... my poop was really dark brown today and left a few "skidmarks" on the bottom of the toilet - should I be concerned? Why is this the second day in a row I've blogged about fecal matter? I don't have an answer for you. But, I did find a letter concerning how women (like myself, I suppose) need to be a little more modest. Granted, it's from "Christian guys" who have been "saved and baptized in the Holy Spirit," so I naturally take the automatic offensive here, but c'mon, it's 2006, people. Some highlights:

We realize that girls are primarily stimulated or turned on by "touch."
Did you know that guys are turned on by "sight?" So when you are
"aroused" (sexually awakened) by a guy's "touch," we are in the same
way aroused by mere "sight." Let us explain. When we see girls who are
dressed in a suggestive, revealing, provocative, teasing, tantalizing
manner, our sexual desires are aroused. Our bodies are then affected.

So, guys are not turned on by touch, nor girls by sight? I mean, primarily? Also, thanks for defining what "aroused" means. And tell me... what do you mean by "suggestive, revealing, provocative, teasing, tantalizing?" And what is that in your pants?

If you are wearing a blouse that barely meets the waist
of your slacks and some of your skin shows while you are moving around,

During Jazzercise? Or just in general?

or simply while you are walking, sitting, or kneeling, our minds are
geared to wonder what more of your body would look like further
up.... This causes our bodies to respond biologically, and suddenly we
are fighting a war in our minds and bodies. And that war of lust is
continuing often long, even hours, after you are gone. We hate this,
because our "righteous man" wants to think pure thoughts....

A - don't be a victim of your biology, man. B - you hate this because your "righteous man" (who's that, your boner?) is fighting a natural human instinct to get hard. Why? I mean, aside from the obvious embarassment? Although, if we were a more sexually free society, perhaps it wouldn't be so embarrassing. Dude, whack OFF!

Girls, do you know what we would really like? We would like to come
among our Christian sisters and not have to fight and struggle in the
flesh.

In other words, don't make us rape you. Please.

Girls can be fashionable and modest at the same time. To be honest, we
respect you more when your appearance is modest, as the Scripture
commands in 1 Timothy 2:9. We really do not want the kind of girl who
dresses provocatively, for we know that if we marry her, she will still
be that way in the presence of other men once we are married.

But she'll also probably be super hot in bed and your guy friends will not know the half of it.

And here's an awesome pic that was included in the post...



Oh MY GOD! Her WRIST is showing! I'm totally gonna NUT!

Speaking of which, I can't wait to get home and masturbate. Damn, I'm HORNY! Wait... is that not modest enough?